Indigo Felix 17 years old: Taiwanese, Puerto Rican and Colombian Born in Manhattan, resides in Stony Point, NY Q: Can you tell me about your ethnic and culture background? A: My father is an American, but he claims to be a mixed Puerto Rican-Colombian heritage. But me personally, I always just saw it as American, something plain. And my mother is Chinese. She's from Taiwan, and I've always had a lot more connection to that spot as a kid. I've visited Taiwan numerous times. I know very well my Taiwanese side of my family. But I also know quite well my dad's side of the family as well. It's just there's nothing that really sets it apart culturally to me, which is why I always grew up thinking that I was more Chinese. Q: So, when you describe your identity, that's how you say? A: Yeah, because most people who see me, they just think I'm Chinese. I would say 90% of people that see me, they would assume that I'm either Chinese or Asian, most likely Asian. And I go with that, not only because it feels right, but also because it's true. Chinese part of my background has always been the most important to me. It's almost felt like exclusive to me, especially because my Spanish side doesn't really feel more than just an American side. It doesn't feel anything more than just people who speak English and do American traditions like Thanksgiving, things like that. There really wasn't much for a long time that really set them apart as Hispanic. For me, it's always just been I'm a Chinese American, because that's how I felt. Q: Are there any moment your family celebrate Hispanic culture or cooking and eating Spanish food? A: Well, interestingly, it was about four or five years ago that my dad started to get really inspired by Puerto Rican food. He started it on Thanksgiving, he would start to make more traditional Colombian or Puerto Rican dishes like rice and beans, especially with the thing that you wrap in the leaves. I don't even know the name of it fully. And empanadas that he calls a different name as well. But these were things where I noticed they didn’t really give me a sense of pride, because I was already at an age where it just felt like going to a restaurant and eating food from a culture you like, but don’t really have a connection to. It’s like if I went to a Turkish restaurant—it tastes good, I like it—but it’s the same way I felt eating that food too. Even though it is my dad’s culture, and it’s something he knows how to do really well, it never felt like more than just food that I liked. Q: Do you know the story of how your mom came to New York? A: I heard that my mum—she was born in Taiwan and lived most of her life there. When she was, I think, a late teenager, she went to Japan for a bit, just to explore her boundaries. She came back, and then after a while, she came to the United States in search of a career in the entertainment industry, specifically with puppets, I believe. And when she was doing that, she came around the late ’90s. Then she met my father, somehow. And I believe they got married in 2002. She’s basically lived her life here since—taking language classes to stay in the country. And also, she did come here legally, then married my father, even though it was quick. It was still a legal process to get into this country, trying to launch a career. And even though it led her to different places, especially after my birth, she did what she could. Q: Do you know why your dad’s family came to the States? A: What I do know is that my grandmother on my dad’s side—she came from Colombia. She was a descendant of white plantation owners, known as Creoles. They were completely white—it’s just that they were mixed later down the line. And then later, I believe she went to Arkansas to live with her family. And I know that his father came from Puerto Rico, which is an American colony, and he moved to the United States. I believe his parents met in Arkansas, and then they came to the Bronx and had him. I’ve never met my grandfather on my dad’s side—he died a year before I was born, in 2008. Q: How many languages do you speak? A: I started out with English and Chinese, because ever since I was a kid, my mum would speak Chinese to me and my dad would speak English to me. It was a very ingenious way of childhood language development, and I think it’s really important to expose your child to as many different languages as possible during that critical period. It’s for that reason, too, that I know a few Spanish words—just from growing up and watching things in Spanish. I even remember watching some VHS tapes in French as well. I guess that kind of spurred things, because when I was in ninth grade, I started learning French. I did take Spanish classes at my high school, but my teacher was so annoying, and the class was really bad—to the point where I literally spent most of the time doing French in the back of the class. And I still got four marks. And it’s been about four years since then, and I’m still learning French. At this point, my French has gotten to a level where I can communicate pretty confidently with French speakers, especially Quebec French speakers. Q: Oh, why Quebec French? A: Initially, I just started with regular French, because when you go on Duolingo, that’s usually the only kind of French they teach. But over time, I started discovering a lot of music from Quebec—mostly because you can’t really learn a language entirely from Duolingo. It’s very textbook-like. So, when I was on Instagram, I started seeing a lot of Quebec creators teaching French. I think it’s because they’re closer to us in proximity—the way the algorithm works, it recommends videos based on that. So, I ended up seeing a lot of content from Quebec. And I got really interested in Quebec’s music, its language, and even its politics—especially the independence movement. I found that I kind of identified with it in some way. Quebec is basically its own nation, or at least it feels that way. They’ve been in North America since the 1500s, and for a long time—like hundreds of years—they’ve been under the control of English-speaking British Canadians. And they’ve been trying to hold on to their language and culture that whole time. I guess that kind of resonated with me. Q: You’ve never been interested in learning Spanish other than your high school Spanish class? A: I never really wanted to. And honestly, a big part of why I wanted to learn French was just to spite my dad, because at the time I was kind of a rebellious kid. It’s not that Spanish isn’t useful—I recognize very clearly that it’s one of the most useful languages you can know, especially if you’re staying in the U.S., which I’m not even sure I will. But if you do, you kind of need Spanish in a lot of circles or at least know a little bit of it. And I do know a fair bit from school. I can read, and I can write some things in Spanish—just nowhere near as well as I can in French, because I haven’t really focused on Spanish as a language, more just as a class. I still get full marks in Spanish, though, because I treat it like math—I learn what I need to, and then forget it after the tests. With French, I put a lot more heart into it. It’s something I actually enjoy, and I guess that’s what really took my attention away from other things. And recently, I’ve been trying to learn more languages, because as you get older, it gets harder. So, I’ve been learning Thai for the past few months. Q: Do you think it’s because Spanish language wasn’t spoken in the house? Your dad didn’t grow up speaking Spanish. A: If my dad spoke Spanish fluently, he probably would have spoken it to me, while my mum spoke Chinese to me. And I would’ve learned English later, in school, like most people do. I’m pretty sure that’s what would’ve happened. And it’s kind of unfortunate that he doesn’t, because he did try. I remember him teaching me how to count numbers on a clock in Spanish, and that actually stuck with me. But other than that, there wasn’t much. If he had spoken it, I probably would’ve just grown-up thinking of it as another language. But over time, I don’t know—I just never really felt much of a connection to my Spanish side. Q: Why do you speak with a British accent? (Because that’s how he speaks in general) A: So, there are actually a lot of reasons for it—it’s kind of funny. About five years ago, I went to a new school, and my friends were like, “Hey, you know what would be really funny? You do a really good British accent. What if you just spoke like that for a week and saw what happened?” So, I did—and it just stuck. I kind of never stopped. And people actually seem to like it. It doesn’t really give me any social benefit or anything—I just think it’s fun. At this point, I’ve pretty much always spoken like this around my friends. Q: So, do they speak like that also? A: No, no, no. They talk normally. They just treat it like a normal thing. (Laughs) But the reason I speak like this is because I was exposed to a lot of British media growing up. When I was a kid, I watched tons of British YouTubers, especially for Minecraft and other games. They really resonated with me. I also watched YouTubers like Tom Scott, who’s from the East Midlands. His accent is the kind I try to mimic—the East Midlands Nottingham accent—which I’ve been using for about five years now. I started practicing it to get it completely right, and I just kind of stuck with it. I’ll probably drop it when I go to uni, just to see what happens. Or maybe I won’t, because I might move elsewhere—Australia or Europe, maybe. We’ll see. Also, when I was younger, I didn’t really like speaking English. I’d say something and think, “Wow, I sound just like my dad.” As I got older and started to feel more separate from my dad culturally, we became less like family and more like friends. That made me feel like I should differentiate myself a bit. It’s the same reason I try to speak Chinese exclusively with my mum. I almost never speak English with her these days. I try not to. Because I feel like I have the right to live my life in Chinese, just like people in Quebec have the right to live their lives in French every day. It’s part of who they are, and it’s something they don’t want to lose. Q: How much can you speak Chinese? A: I can carry a conversation with my mum. Watching the news, I’d understand maybe 60%. My vocabulary is limited, but I can communicate okay in Taiwan. Older people sometimes throw me off with different accents. Q: Do you feel more like yourself speaking Chinese than English? Like two different characters? I feel different when I speak Japanese and English. A: Yeah, I feel like a totally different person in Chinese and English, and even French—Quebec French is very country-like. My Chinese isn’t perfect; I have to use English loanwords a lot, unfortunately. I plan to study it more in college to get close to native level as possible. I already have an advantage. I know tones and pronunciation, just need to know more words and then I'm pretty much set. I try my best to speak exclusively in Chinese with my mum, when I can I see some of her friends’ kids who just respond in English even when spoken to in Chinese, and I don’t want to be like that. Q: I know you’ve visited Taiwan. Have you ever been to Puerto Rico or Colombia? A: Never. Mostly because I don’t feel a connection to those places. My dad doesn’t really either, so I can’t blame anyone. Q: If you could visit Puerto Rico or Colombia one day, what would you want to see or experience? A: I’d probably stick to the regular touristy spots, maybe explore some country roads just driving around, as long as it’s safe—Colombia isn’t the most stable. Puerto Rico is a bit better, though they’ve had a rough time with how the U.S. treats them. But I’d mostly do what tourists usually do, because these places don’t feel any more special to me than other countries, I don’t have a connection to. Q: Are you curious about going there? A: Yeah, kind of. I want to visit as many countries as I can, but those don’t feel any more special than, say, Germany or Kazakhstan. I really want to see more of Asia—mainland China, Korea, maybe Japan—South Asia, Oceania… and even North Korea, because it’s so different. Q: Oh, North Korea, are you serious? A: Yeah! They have actual guided tours there. Q: When you visited Taiwan, what stood out to you? A: I haven’t gone since I was probably nine—so almost eight years. But when I was a kid, I went all the time, and it felt natural, like a second home. I liked small everyday things: how clean the railways were, how you could switch trains just by walking across the platform, and how the sidewalks are built under buildings so you can walk without burning in the sun. After my grandfather’s funeral, I realized how proud I am of my family. He was a major general in the Chinese army—fought against the Japanese and the communists and worked to preserve democracy in China. That’s why I call myself Chinese, not Taiwanese, and why I speak Chinese. Even people who’ve been in Taiwan since the 1600s originally came from China. Only the aboriginals have the right to call themselves Taiwanese. Even when I’m away from Taiwan, I feel proud of the Republic of China—not the government, but the people who keep Chinese culture alive and try to preserve freedom. I hope one day China will be reunited under a free republican government. Taiwan has preserved a lot that’s been lost in mainland China, like traditional Chinese writing, which you don't see in the mainland at all. They removed it because they didn't want people reading old books and getting old ideas. They also wanted to increase literacy, but that's not the full picture. Q: Were there any moments that surprised you in Taiwan? A: No major culture shock. But I’ve learned about small differences, like how polite people are and how much trust there is in society. I look almost completely Asian, so most people just see me that way. The only people who notice I’m mixed were other mixed or Wasian (White x Asian) people, and those are the ones I connect with best. I met a few at a government conference in Albany last year, and that actually helped me come out of my shell a bit. Other than that, I feel fully Asian. Q: In your high school (Stony Point, NY and the surrounding area), are there many mixed-race students? How’s the diversity? A: It’s an interesting community. Stony Point, where I live, is mostly Italian—some Irish too—but mostly Italian Americans who’ve been here for three or four generations, many originally from the Bronx. The neighboring town, Haverstraw, is denser and mostly Spanish or Dominican. I honestly don’t always notice differences—not because I am racist, just because I don’t know—but they’re their own people and do their own thing. Our school includes both towns. Last I checked, about 60% Hispanic, 17% white, and the rest are Black or Asian, with Asians around 3%. That’s still sizable out of 2,800 students. Most of my friends are either white or Asian. Q: Do you have any Asian friends at school? A: Oh, yes, a fair amount. I met them on the bus after school, the longer route for clubs, not the one right by my house. Many of them are children of people who own Chinese restaurants—I could probably name every place. I’m probably the only Chinese student here whose family doesn’t own a restaurant. There are also three Filipino friends who don’t own anything. I haven’t met any Koreans or Japanese students—none, even in my last school. Q: Do you remember the day you used to live in the Bronx? A: Oh, yeah, absolutely. That was when I was eight years old. Q: And you went to middle school in Manhattan, right? A: Yeah, middle school in Manhattan, so it's very diverse. The diversity there was around the same as here, it's a bit more half and half, Spanish and white. But obviously a lot more Asians as well. We were close to a lot of embassies. That's why I knew lots of Australian, British and New Zealander kids, Commonwealth people. That's actually... I guess that influenced the way I spoke a lot as well. Q: Have people ever asked where you're from? Or tried to guess your background? A: Everyone just like, “You, Asian?” “You are Chinese.” That's how I met, the first Chinese person I met on the bus. He was the son of the owner of the Chinese restaurant down the road. And then I just sat across from him on the bus, He was like...You Chinese? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, what part of China are you from, I’m from Fuzhou. And I said, Oh, I'm from Taiwan. And he's like, Oh, that's cool. And we just started talking like that. But of course, I do look a bit different. And to many Asians, they see me, they're like, why are your eyes like that? And I'm like, I don't know. Why is your nose like that? I don't know. It just is and probably just because I'm Taiwanese. And they're like, yeah, that's fair. So, it's kind of repeating the same thing. Q: So, what do Puerto Rican or Colombian culture mean to you personally, if at all? A: Honestly, Colombian and Puerto Rican culture means close to nothing to me. It’s like any other culture in the world—I might notice it sometimes, like when I go to one of their restaurants. I don’t hate it, the food’s good, the music’s cool. But I don’t think, “This is my people’s culture.” When I watched Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl halftime show, I was just like, “Oh, nice, I guess.” Nothing really stood out to me. Q: Have you ever told anyone that you’re part Spanish?” A: Never. I don’t look the part. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone I’m half Chinese, half Spanish. In kindergarten, I’d just say my mum’s from Taiwan and my dad’s from here—that was it. As I got older, , I was like, Oh, yeah, I'm Wasian which is a typical quick term, which technically means white and Asian, but you know, it’s just easier to say. I’ve only told maybe 10 people, just a handful I trust, or new people that I've met, because I've just been trying to be a bit more open about it recently. Like last year I met people from a neighboring high school, while I was doing volunteer work. And I just told them, Oh yeah, I'm Wasian. Like, it's just a thing in passing anymore because it didn't really mean, it’s not like a real hot button issue for me as much. But now these days, obviously, I'm not going to tell people in my high school, like Oh yeah, did you know my dad's actually not Chinese? Cause that's going to really throw them off a bit. And even if they don't care, that's going to be like such a weird thing to say. In college, I might tell people I’m Wasian if it comes up, but mostly they’ll just see me as Asian. If they don’t ask, I won’t say anything. Q: What are your dreams or goals for the future? A: I’m most likely going into corporate law—that’s been my main dream for years. Since I was 10, I did debate and it just felt natural, that’s why I'm going to uni for political science, which I'm going to Northwestern for, thankfully. I’ll probably stay in Chicago for law school, but I might go somewhere else, or even another country, depending on my options. My main focus is becoming a corporate lawyer. Before thinking about other countries, I was considering staying in the U.S. and maybe becoming a politician after a few years of law practice. I’ve always been interested in public speaking and politics. When I was a kid, I even thought about being Quebec’s prime minister because I speak French and was involved in Quebecois political groups. If I hadn’t gotten into Northwestern, I might have gone to Université Laval in Quebec because it's not hard to get in —it’s a French institution and I could have built my life there. Politics still feels like an end goal for me. Q: You like to talk about Politics. A: Yeah, absolutely. And I became more conservative as I learnt more about the world, learnt more about my own opinions, I call myself a very well Republican, but I never supported Trump. He's just not politician-like. He's not what he used to be. I'm a conservative given that I like tradition. I like keeping traditions. That's why I speak Chinese with my mum. That's why I found it a bit difficult when my mum broke from tradition to marry someone who isn't Chinese. That's something that I found very off-putting to me. It's things like that. I think family values are important.